


Rock Bottom (Is Cold and Terrifying)

by clairedelalunex



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant, Cuddling, Doom bots, Drowning, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fools in Love, Hurt Tony Stark, Hypothermia, Love Confessions, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Sharing Body Heat, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-22 15:35:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15585075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairedelalunex/pseuds/clairedelalunex
Summary: Jesus Tony thought, James! Water was filling his ears now and it was a little alarming that he couldn’t feel the cold as much anymore but his thoughts were fixated on James and their morning spent together and how he hadn’t gotten to tell him how much he loved him. Tony felt his heart lurch and stutter in his chest as the reactor stuttered, his teeth were chattering loudly in the confines of the suit as the first trickle of water hit his lips.After a week of planning to confess his love Tony nearly loses his chance.





	Rock Bottom (Is Cold and Terrifying)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing Bucky and Tony and I had a hard time how to approach this little oneshot but I hope you guys enjoy it! I plan on escaping down this little rabbit hole that is the two of them so I may experiment with a few more little oneshots before focusing on a larger piece. So please feel free to leave criticism and constructive thoughts in the comment section.

Shooting over the tree line of Central Park Tony veered to the side as he changed his course and shot off repulsors beams at the Doom Bot that was sneaking up behind Natasha, giving a lazy salute with a gauntlet when she thanked him over the com lines before flying off in the opposite direction to check on the rest of his team mates.

None of them were happy to be out today, it was Sunday and they had all been enjoying a rare down day when the alarm to assemble had gone off in the tower. Tony had been in the middle of executing an elaborate plan that had taken him a week to put together, and he was pissed that it had been disturbed. Not to mention that it had snowed coating New York in five feet of hard packed ice and sludge, which, now he was looking down on his team mates didn’t make for an easy battlefield even if the Doom Bots weren’t presenting much of a challenge (did they ever though, Tony thought with a roll of his eyes).

But watching Captain America slip on a patch of black ice on the footpath around the frozen lake, and then hearing him curse in a very un-Steve fashion over the coms before getting his footing again and slamming the shield through a poorly crafted chest plate, was a little amusing. It would be more concerning if they were facing something that posed more of a threat but Doom seemed to have gotten lazy this time around and the robots were pitiful, caving to vibranium and bullets alike. Tony didn’t have to even fire more than a singular repulsors beam at a weak spot in order to disable them.

This was just proving to make him grumpier as he thought about what they had interrupted by attacking Central Park. After three months of dancing around each other, moving past some tough emotions and mutual dislike and even sitting down to have a Serious Talk including emotions and maybe a few tears (Tony would deny it until he died, he did not cry okay) James and Tony had finally accepted they had feelings for each other and decided to give it a go.

Six months later and a week of decidedly tooth rotting moments together, Tony had found himself close to letting slip a few choice words at the entirely wrong moments. Nobody wanted the first declaration of love to be while they were balls deep in someone’s ass, even Tony had enough sense to know it wouldn’t be taken seriously in that situation.

It had taken a week of planning with Jarvis and a few panic attacks and a minor fight between Tony and James when he caught on that Tony was acting strange, to get to today when he was finally ready to make his declaration.

They had enjoyed a rare lay in together just holding each other in bed and enjoying each other’s company as they burrowed beneath the covers and dozed on and off between conversation. Tony had slipped out from under James and slipped in to the kitchen to try and cook them both a romantic breakfast. All he’d had to do for that was heat up croissants and cut fruit up and get the coffee ready but honestly he’d forgotten that he had upgraded the oven on a whim and James had woken to the smoke alarm whaling when Tony had pulled the charcoal vestiges of their breakfast from the contraption.

To Tony’s pleasant surprised it hadn’t gone downhill from there and they’d just tucked in to left overs and Tony had been gearing up for his great declaration between bites of pasta when the alarm had gone off and he’d been forced to put it on the back burner.

‘This is growing tedious.’ Thor announced over the com line, and Tony couldn’t help but agree even as he watched Bucky right Steve again. He was going to have to work on adjusting everyone’s footwear if the villain of the week was going to continue wreaking havoc in the snow or they were going to be facing some nasty injuries from slips and falls rather than the fight. The super soldiers and demi-god could shake off the injuries but Clint and Natasha didn’t have that advantage and broken bones were no joking matter.

‘Anyone got eyes on Doom or worked out his end game here?’ Steve sounded a little breathless over the line as he slammed the shield down in to another robot, pulling it loose with a wide arc before bringing it down on another one. Tony swopped in and fired off some small projectiles that honed in on their targets and took down five more, they may be weak targets but there were _a lot_ of them. ‘Iron Man anything from Jarvis?’

‘Not yet.’ Tony replied, landing on the ground between the Winter Soldier and Captain America to assist. ‘Starting to think they just wanted to drag us out in to the cold and ruin our Sunday.’ He snapped, still thinking about how content and warm he had been leaning against James at the kitchen counter. The suit was insulated but it was still a huge hunk of metal and the longer they were out here the more he could feel the cold creeping in, the arc reactor was aching from it.

‘We need to know where they are coming from.’ James cut in, slamming a long slim blade through the gap between the neck and chest, disabling the bot before turning on another. Now that Tony was on the ground with them, the Doom Bots were converging with enthusiasm. He wasn’t the only one that noticed. ‘Iron Man get back in the air, you might be their objective.’ Huh and if there wasn’t concern in that controlled voice Tony would paint his suit hot pink, he thought even as he shot off repulsors blast after blast.

It wouldn’t be the first time Doom had tried to take him down, get his greasy hands on the tech behind his armour and the arc reactor. Tony stepped out of the tight back to back circle he had formed with the super soldiers as an arrow whistled past his face plate and buried in the chest of one of the bots, blowing it. ‘They’re breaking off from our location and heading for you, might be best if you stick to the air for this one shell-head they don’t seem to have flight capabilities.’ Clint chimed in, several arrows loosing on the bots that were doing their damn best to cut him off and corner him.

‘Jarvis any luck locating Doom yet?’ Tony staggered as one of the Doom Bots latched itself on his back as he took to the air, knocking out his trajectory as he descended above the park. ‘Shit.’ He cursed, rolling fiercely to dislodge it even as the HUD announced the robot had launched anchors in the armour, holding on tight.

‘Status Iron Man.’ Steve demanded and Tony looked down for a minute, seeing them battling their own small horde Natasha melding out of the tree line with her own robotic entourage.

‘Made a friend, doesn’t seem too keen on letting go.’ Tony answered, rolling again as he continued to ascend. ‘Jarvis?’

‘I have had no luck locating Doom; he may be controlling them remotely outside of the park. The robot has deployed magnetic sinking hooks to attach to your armour; scans indicate a small explosive device in the chest plate.’ Jarvis informed him, bringing up an image on the HUD for him to inspect, and yep he could hear the rapidly increasing beep of a timer. ‘My recommendation would be to land and seek assistance sir the robot is out of your reach, it has strategically latched on.’

Tony was going to do that, was already descending and locating Thor with every intention to have him use Mjolnir to knock the bot off or fry it before it could do any damage but Jarvis got nothing but a static laced _sir_ before it detonated at his back. The blast knocked him off course and breached the armour in his lower back, allowing him to feel the gust of frozen air as he dropped out of the sky. The shock of pain was enough time to distract him for a moment, before Tony realised he wasn’t slowing down as he plummeted through the grey sky and panic set in as he realised the suit had gone dark and wasn’t responding, could feel the reactor in his chest sputtering before making the realisation of EMP.

With the armour facing the stormy skies Tony was caught unawares when the deadweight of the armour impacted with the cold surface of Central Park, pain exploded through the base of his skull when his head rebounded against the helmet and the sticky feel of warm blood ran down his face and a sharp pain lanced through the small of his back where the armour had been breached by the explosion. Breath knocked out of him and the shock of impact ringing through his whole body it took Tony a moment to realise something was very wrong as the ground shifted beneath him and he could hear the cracking of something before his breath was stolen.

Murky water rushed around the armour and pulled him down, fast, as he sunk through the freezing depths. They’d been fighting right by the lake, and Tony had forgotten about it. Well he remembered it now he thought with a gasp as the suit thunked down on the earthy bottom causing a plume of dirty sand to cloud the water.

Fear set in when the first trickle of water against his back reached his subconscious and started to make sense of what was happening. All he could see through the eye slits in the face plate was the murky depths of water and a sliver of rippling grey that signified the surface several feet above him, Tony tried to raise the arms of the suit to move and try and get himself out but they dropped back to the floor causing more grit to dirty the water around him. He tried wiggling his hips next in a desperate attempt to _move_ because the water was steadily trickling in now and he could feel it rising against the small of his back, along his thighs and shoulders and it was cold, so god damn cold, and he could remember having his head shoved in that damn bucket over and over again and the water never changed temperature or got any warmer.

All his struggling achieved was letting another rush of water in and Tony gasped in shock, it was like electricity burning his skin and numbing it at the same time as the frozen water lapped at and soaked through the under-suit severing the nerve endings of his skin. Breathing harshly Tony let himself go still and heavy in the suit, the cold was rapidly stealing his ability to think clearly as the water slowly reached his shoulders now, some of it dipping and splashing around his chin.

Where was everyone? Surely they had seen him go down and not come back up by now, it felt like he had been down here for hours already. Jesus Tony thought, _James_! Water was filling his ears now and it was a little alarming that he couldn’t feel the cold as much anymore but his thoughts were fixated on James and their morning spent together and how he hadn’t gotten to tell him how much he loved him. Tony felt his heart lurch and stutter in his chest as the reactor stuttered, his teeth were chattering loudly in the confines of the suit as the first trickle of water hit his lips.

The cold hit him all at once and Tony shuddered, shivering harshly in the rapidly rising water. James was always so warm; it was like sleeping with your own personal heater at night and Tony loved wrapping his whole body around him and taking advantage of that fact teasing James with his cold toes and nose every night when they cuddled. A large mouthful of water made it in to his mouth and Tony choked, panicking when he inhaled it in shock. Another breath brought more water until all he could hear in the inky silence was foreign languages shouting at him, holding his head down.

Scrunching his eyes shut Tony forced himself to think about anything else, but he needed to breathe and he needed to open his mouth to do that but if he did they would shove his head back under and he had to make sure none of the water splashed back at his chest and the exposed wires of the battery, if he flailed or struggled to get out of their hold he’d be shocked by it and the cold water was always a shock on its own and it was _everywhere_.

Without thinking Tony opened his mouth to scream and inhaled, eyes blowing wide open in panic before he struggled uselessly in the dead suit creating another dirty cloud in the water. Black was creeping in the corners of his vision now as the water crept up under his nose and around his eyes and for the barest of moments Tony thought he saw a shadow above him but he couldn’t remember where he was, it was so cold and he couldn’t breathe or think straight.

With one last, barely rational thought about James he closed his eyes against the shadow moving towards him and let his mouth slip open as darkness claimed him.

~

A warm heavy embrace was draped over Tony when he woke up but it did nothing to stop his body from jolting upright with a hoarse scream on his throat dislodging the body wedged against him as he drew in deep, ragged breaths against the phantom hand clutching the mess of curls at the back of his head forcing his head under the cold water. A hacking wet cough exploded from his aching chest as someone rubbed his back, saying something incomprehensible to him as he struggled against the vestiges of the nightmare.

In the background he could hear the wailing of a heart monitor but he focused on the warm hand rubbing soothing circles against his bare skin until he could get his breath back and make sense of what was going on.

Prying gritty eyes open the first thing he realised was medical, an abominable pile of blankets pooled in his lap, nasal prongs under his nose and sticky dots against his chest and a dull ache that spoke of heavy pain killers running through the cannula in the back of his hand. Then he caught on to the voice beside him, made sense of the hand on his back (was he naked?) and sagged in relief before another wet cough had him slumping backwards in to the waiting arms and panting for desperate breaths.

‘Steady doll, you’re safe and in the tower.’ _James_ oh thank God, Tony thought as he lifted his head and met those brilliant blue eyes that were staring back with so much emotion he nearly lost his breath all over again before warm lips were pressed against his there and gone again in a second. ‘Don’t you dare do that to me ever again.’ Tony was a little thrown by the intensity of those words, and the fact that it looked like James was about to cry.

‘What did I do this time?’ Tony asked because yeah, things were a little fuzzy right now and his brain was a muddled mess of flashbacks and burnt pastries and Central Park? Obviously he had done something wrong if he was in medical, but it still made little sense to him right now when he could still hear foreign languages echoing in the back of his skull and the dull ache of pain singing through his nerve endings and a little bit cold making him shiver harshly.

‘Scared the livin’ daylights out of me.’ James eased Tony back against his chest and the high pile of pillows before pulling the blankets back over his chest. Tony winced when something in his back pulled and his head ached with the movement but James was carding a gentle hand through his hair and none of that mattered for a moment.

‘But why am I naked?’ Tony asked because yep, there were no clothes under those blankets. Not that he was adverse to naked time especially the sexy kind with his boyfriend but nothing was making much sense still. ‘What happened?’ He scrunched his nose up around the cannulas, lifting a heavy hand to try and dislodge them but metal fingers closed around his hand before he could succeed.

‘They stay on; doc says your sats are still too low.’ James warned him, burying their hands under one of the blankets and trapping it there. ‘What do you remember?’ James asked when they had settled down again.

‘I burnt breakfast and for some reason, Central Park.’ Because that was all his muddled brain wanted to supply him with right now, even as his body woke up properly and he realised everything hurt and he quite possibly just wanted to go back to sleep until it didn’t anymore. And dammit, it felt like someone had been dancing on his chest and the reactor felt heavier and more painful than it normally did. What was going on?

‘James?’ Because the other man had gone silent now, just carding his hand through Tony’s hair and pulling him a little closer.

Had Tony told him he loved him and something had gone wrong, did he get drunk in the face of rejection and make a fool of himself? This silence and sombre mood was not doing him any good and the remnants of the nightmare weren’t helping, the wet shortness of breath threatening to pull him back to the cave.

‘Doom tried to get his greedy hands on your suit again, we were battling him in Central Park when one of the bots latched on to you and blew up.’ James started telling him with a low, strained voice. ‘Jarvis thinks it was a close range EMP that killed the suit, you dropped a hundred feet right in to the lake and it took us ten minutes too long to get you out.’ There was a hint of Winter Soldier in his voice now, laced with cold anger Tony noticed as he struggled to remember any of this. ‘You weren’ breathing when we pulled you out, gone blue an all.’ James pulled him a little closer to his chest at this, holding him possessively like Tony would disappear if he let up just a little.

‘Tell me it was you that kissed me.’ Tony tried to make light of the moment, ease some of the tight tension he could feel in James and shift that icy Winter Soldier tone from his voice but it fell horribly flat with how rough his throat was, his words raspy and breathy.

‘Stevie got you back, I was good fer nothin’ with panic.’ Tony nearly melted over the heavy Brooklyn accent even as his cheeks flushed over the idea of America’s Golden Boy giving him mouth to mouth in the middle of Central Park. ‘Thought we lost you.’ Tony pressed in to the palm that came around to cradle his cheek gently.

Tony remember a little flash of fear that he wouldn’t get the chance to tell James how much he loved him, just before the water had closed over his mouth and nose filling the helmet completely and failed to supress a full body shiver. Looking up in to James face he steeled his resolve against any more thoughts of doubt that it wouldn’t be reciprocated and spilled himself bare to the other man.

‘This is probably shitty timing and it’s okay if you don’t believe me because hey near death experience and all,’ Tony stammered ‘but I nearly lost out on my chance to tell you and I’ll be damned if I let it pass by again.’ Swallowing thickly and fighting the blush that he could feel creeping across his cheekbones he managed to get the words out. ‘I love you James Buchannan “Bucky” Barnes.’ And if that wasn’t enough cheese for a cheese platter, Tony winced internally at how un-smoothly that had come out.

For a minute Tony was sure he was going to be pushed away when James tensed up beside him, his gaze blanking out for a moment and Tony’s guts slipped out his ass in horror that he had just ruined what they had going for them by bringing love in to the mix when James twisted on the bed (oh god he’s leaving) to face Tony fully and wrap two hands around his face and pull him in to a heady kiss that knocked the breath and all brain function from his body removing any doubts he may have been holding just seconds ago.

They parted with a small pop of saliva as James hand carded through his hair and a metal thumb caressed along his cheek bone staring at him with such reverence Tony was having a hard time catching his breath under the intensity. He had nearly lost the chance to experience this, lost everything because he had failed to take something serious and dragged his feet around making the confession to his boyfriend.

‘I love you too, you idiot.’ They were kissing into dopey smiles, sloppy and wet as they missed each other’s mouths laughing softly before Tony interrupted their moment with another wet cough and a groan when his back protested the harsh action.

Untangling one of his hands Tony explored the expanse of his own back until he found the padded dressing and probed at it with a wince, vaguely remembering the armour being damaged at some point before taking a swim. Cool metal fingers wrapped around his pulling it away from the wound before pressing light kisses against his knuckles. ‘Thirty two internal and external stitches, two cracked ribs in the back a lot of bruising and tissue damage and a concussion that’s had you out for two days.’ James informed him almost clinically. ‘Bruce thinks you’ll get pneumonia and is watching you closely for secondary drowning, said something about your reduced lung capacity making things difficult.’ Tony winced against the information, filing it away to examine later when his head was a little clearer.

‘But why am I naked?’ Surely someone could have put some pants or at least underwear on him and by that he meant James could have dressed him.

‘You were hypothermic and had to be warmed up slowly in stages, maybe ask Bruce he knows more.’ James shrugged a shoulder and shifted closer still on top of the blankets between them and there were a lot. ‘Pepper brought you an overnight bag this morning.’ Tony just hummed in response before shifting in discomfort.

‘Can I have my underwear, and a drink?’ His throat was parched now that he was awake enough to realise and rough from coughing. The loss of James body heat was a shiver of shock that coursed through him when he got up to fetch the undergarment and wheel a tray with a water jug and cup towards him.

‘Want some help getting these on?’ James held up the hot rod red silk boxers and Tony nodded. It was a struggle at first getting his limbs to respond but having a super soldier as a boyfriend came with some perks as he helped support most of Tony’s weight. It was cold outside of his nest of blankets so they moved quickly getting him in the underwear and back in the bed.

Tony was appreciative as James stripped down beside the bed, removing his jumper and shimmying track pants down his hips until he was in nothing but a long sleeved thermal and a pair of boxer briefs and socks sliding under the covers with Tony and wrapping around him gently to share body heat and presence that they both desperately needed right now.

Despite the exhaustion pulling heavily at his body the last thing Tony wanted to do was go to sleep, not with the nightmare still fresh in his mind and the slowly unravelling events of plunging in to the lake and the muscle memory of the cold and panic sending shivers through his body and sparking off small hurts that he hadn’t been aware of. He was pretty sure his back was going to be a mess of mottled purple and blues in a few days as all the bruising came out, but right now it just felt hot and swollen and he was struggling to find a comfortable position until James huffed out a sigh and nudged Tony to the edge of the bed.

James claimed the centre of the pillows and blankets before spreading his legs and pulling Tony’s chest flush against his own, pillowing his head on James shoulder and removing the pressure from his back. Tony sighed in relief as he sagged against him, nestled neatly in the vee of James legs and relaxing in to the steady thump-thump of his heart beneath his ear and the soothing up and down motion of his chest. They wouldn’t be able to stay like that for too long with all the chords Tony was attached to and the sharp edges of the reactor but he was determined to enjoy this for now.

It got even better as those magical hands kneaded the tight muscle at the base of his neck and feather light brushes moved across his aching shoulders and removing some of the painful tension. They stayed like that for a while just letting the lull of the machinery and each other’s presence control the moment until Tony started drifting off only to jolt awake five minutes later to the harsh bark of Dari in his ear and the heart monitor blaring.

James just spoke to him in sure tones promising him he was safe and running his hands through his hair, explaining where they were and what was happening around them until he calmed down again and they fell in to easy conversation as James sensed he wasn’t willing to risk going back to sleep. It was familiar and routine for them, as they each shared their own demons and were no strangers to waking up in the throes of a nightmare or night terror depending what memory decided to make an appearance.

Appreciating the moment for what it was, a small slice of home in tumultuous waters Tony smiled easily into the material under his face and just basked in the moment and the thankful fact that he even had it. There was a lot of things that he wished he could have done differently in his life and a lot of regrets that he was still working on fixing but so far James was high up on the list of things he was grateful for, that he hadn’t backed down from his fears and insecurities and had taken that plunge in to unknown territory and put everything out there.

Being in James arms knowing they shared the same love was a commodity he didn’t often get to indulge in and Tony swore he was never letting go.  


End file.
